We Women Are Not An Afterthought

Genesis 2:18 The Lord said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 3:20  Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.

We Women Are Not An Afterthought

The fact that we are women is not happenstance. God was very intentional when He made woman and He had a special purpose.

Biblical Womanhood / Manhood

God made men and women unique and when in a healthy relationship, they complement one another so beautifully. It’s obvious how differently God made them to think, process emotions, make decisions and learn. Differences start in the physical structure of the brain. For example, one study shows that when using the brain, women connect both sides while men keep it as simple as possible by using only one side at a time.

That means men and women excel differently. Men use different strategies and parts of their brains to navigate, and they’re really better at finding their way when they are lost than women. These differences are fascinating although it can be difficult to adjust to your partner’s ways. It’s also humorous and enjoyable.  

Women of the World / Godly Women Separate 

God created male and female with two different roles. Both are essential to God’s glory.

  • The bodies/brains of men and women work differently. 
  • A man can never be a woman, or process information like women.
  • The male brain, DNA, and entire being are male.
  • A woman can never be a man, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  • Those differences show more of God’s glory than if we twins.

Women Striving to Obey Biblical Womanhood

Biblical Womanhood & Culture Don’t Mix Truths 

  • Biblical womanhood doesn’t conform to society’s standard of femininity.
  • Biblical womanhood is the distinguishing character of a woman as defined by the Bible.

The Well Known Woman in Proverbs 31

  • She didn’t work strictly in her home with her children.
  • She didn’t remain silent when she had an opinion.
  • She wasn’t weak and passive in her presentation.
  • She didn’t refrain from making her mark on the world.
  • She was an incredibly courageous woman.
  • She was an example of strength, intelligence, capable, giving, resourceful, efficient & spiritually minded.
  • Much of what is noted is what we grow into as we become more like Christ.

What The Proverbs 31 Woman Did

  • She honored and respected her husband.
  • She fed/clothed her family with the healthiest and finest.
  • She invested the use of her skills in a personal business.
  • She spoke wisely and kindly to others.
  • She dressed herself attractively & helped the poor.

We’re called to be women of impact. Love and honor your husband and family: pray, discuss decisions, find solutions you both feel great about. Be the “excellent wife” you’re called, the wife your husband trusts.

The Women God Created 

  • Women generally focus more on outward appearance than men.
  • Women’s physical is often exploited, cheapened & used selfishly.
  • Real beauty is not found in these things, it’s on the inside.
  • His daughters are to dig for His reflection He’s placed inside of them.

Beauty Is Not Outward 

  • Beautiful women with mean spirits don’t draw people for the right reasons. (Proverbs 31:30
  • Attractive appearances of poor character quickly lose it’s appeal.
  • Godly women radiate God’s glory & model a gentle, quiet spirit.   
  • Spirit-controlled women become more like Jesus, developing kindness, gentleness & self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

“Wives, submit yourselves to your husband as you would the Lord. The husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church; his body of which he is the Savior.” Husbands are instructed to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.” Ephesians 5:22–25 

Godly wives have little difficulty submitting to godly husbands’ leadership if he loves her like Christ loved the church. It’s vital that godly women stay grounded in God’s truth in thoughts, words and actions. Seek Him and ask for the help you need in each decision and action you take.

“Shock the world by being what you were made to be:

a fearless, unflappable, God-fearing woman.”

Elisabeth Elliot once said, “The fact I’m a woman doesn’t make me a different Christian. The fact I’m a Christian makes me a different woman.”

We Women Are Not An AfterthoughtMarriage Orchestrated by the Marriage Designer — God Himself

You have choices as women. You can receive the gift that God has given you, or you can reject it. You can say, “I don’t want to be a woman. I’d like to be more like a man. I envy, I covet the things God has given distinctly to men.” You can fight and resist it, and be miserable. Or you can embrace, receive, and accept the gift of womanhood with its differences from manhood, a great means of fulfilling the purpose God created you for.

Submission wasn’t meant the wife shouldn’t have a voice at home. Where there’s competition, Satan has a heyday and that’s distortion of God’s plan, exactly what the enemy wants in your home and relationships, to have disorder, disorientation and dysfunction. Rather than complementing and benefiting from each other’s strengths, the enemy wants you at each other’s throats.  

We fall short of God’s design: that’s why we have conflicts and divorce. When things are done God’s way, we avoid extremes on either side where we can have beautifully defined relationships

In Genesis 3:16, God Told Eve 

  • Your desire (consequence of your choice) shall be for (against) your husband.
  • Theologians have spun around what that phrase means.
  • Is God saying you, (the woman) will have urges to oppose, control and act against man?

Man & Wife Were Intended to Function in Oneness.

One flesh, one harmony, one peace, oneness of relationship. There’s now going to be a barrier between the two of you. Your fallen impulse will try to control your husband, to oppose and act against him. The one you’re supposed to be on the same side with, you’ll end being on opposite sides with.

Your Desire Will Be Against Your Husband, But “He Shall Rule Over You.”

Again, lots of theological discussion to what that means. The explanation that helps the most is that he will at times respond to you with a forceful and harsh rule, headship, oversight and authority. He will not always lead in godly ways; sometimes he will be dictatorial or harsh.

God created man and gave him instruction on how to to care for the Garden.

Later he created woman to be a helper, a completer for him,

to be the person who cheers him on, believing in him more than he believes in himself.

Man and woman were to live in oneness and harmony. At the time God told Eve that from now on, your impulse as a woman will be to control man and act against him. Thus began the BATTLE of the SEXES. 

God told male and female, “You’re blessed AND have a purpose. I have a design for you and here’s what I want you to do: work together. Complement each other, serve and glorify Me together.”

What God Has to Say
God’s design for men and for women, marriage and human relationships is right; it’s necessary, and important. Think about it, who better knows how life is to function than the Creator and Designer of life Himself? Lets just look to His plan to find out how we’re supposed to work for things work best when they function according to design.

  • When women and men function according to God’s plan, purpose and design, God is glorified. Things function and work. They’re blessed, and others are blessed as well.
  • Scripture affirms that men and women were created in the image and likeness of God. We did not evolve or just happen. We’re not the result of chance.
  • There are God-created differences between men and women. Equality is NOT sameness. Our differences are intended to complement and strengthen each other, not to be competitors but interdependent so we complete each other. We’re to have complementary purposes—not identical.
  • To woman, God said, “Here’s the consequence of your sin. I will multiply your pain in childbearing in a distinct, unique way, as a bearer and nurturer of life.” Only women can have children. That’s something women can do that man can’t. God designed woman to be a life-giver, giving birth to the next generation. That’s woman’s primary field of calling.
  • To man, God said, “Cursed is the ground because of you… thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you… by the sweat of your face you shall eat bread.” Man was affected in his primary responsibility, in the workplace, as a provider for his family. It doesn’t mean men aren’t nurturing or that women won’t ever work outside the home. It does speak, however, to the primary differences of man and woman.

In conclusion, “God saw everything he had made, and behold it was very good.” Including male and female, created in His image, alike in many respects. But it also included differences that are good, a gift from God. They’re something to be received, cherished, and protected rather denied or rejected. Genesis 1:31

In Marriage, God Said There Is An Order

  • The head of the man is Christ.
  • That means the husband is not the head of the home.
  • Christ is the head of the home.
  • The husband is responsible to report to Christ as his direct authority.
  • The head of a wife is her husband.
  • It’s important his direction comes from the Lord to provide the leadership his family needs.

The Head Of Christ Is God. There Is An Order 

  • When we follow this order and function as we were designed, there is peace, harmony and blessing.
  • The husband is responsible to provide for his wife in loving, humble, thoughtful leadership, headship, direction and authority.
  • He’s not to be harsh, abusive or domineering. On the other hand, he’s not to be passive or lazy.
  • The wife is called to give active, intelligent, joyful submission to her husband’s leadership.
  • Both steer clear of extremes, aggressiveness or passivity.
  • Woman’s not a passive robot who never speaks up or participates in decision-making.
  • It doesn’t mean she never challenges her husband if he’s wrong.
  • She’s in active, intelligent, joyful submission to her husband as unto the Lord.
  • Submission of the wife doesn’t mean her husband directs every detail of her life.
  • A wife doesn’t just become silent and go mute.
  • To obey Christ’s command to submit, a wife works actively to know and honor the heart of her husband.
  • She encourages children to do the same.
  • Submitting to her husband is far more than avoiding to belittle him.
  • It involves lifting him up, honoring him actively in her heart and before others.
  • The wife is to verbally encourage him to lead, provide for, and protect his family.
  • The wife primarily helps her husband by managing the household and nurturing the children.
  • That doesn’t mean they don’t participate in both aspects. Both will often help the other in his or her primary area of responsibility. It simply addresses who has the primary responsibility and accountability before God.
  • The man needs someone to believe in him, admire him, approve of him, accept him, regardless of his failures.
  • Beware of strangling your marriage to death by ignoring your role in womanhood.

There’s God’s way, the husband and wife complementing each other. Imagine what could happen today if wives understood and modeled a biblical model of femininity. Imagine the effects on our families, on our world and on future generations.

Affirm the value of biblical womanhood by applying biblical principles at home. It’s not always easy, but has amazing results.


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Norma Bourque Niles

Thank YOU. ❌⭕❌

Norma Bourque Niles