WHERE DO I BEGIN?
ONE THING KINDA, SORTA LEADS TO THE OTHER SO GUESS IT’S BEST TO START AT THE BEGINNING
I’m the second oldest child in my family and I grew up with 3 brothers and 5 sisters. At age 14, I lost my Dad in a work-related trucking accident, leaving my Mom aged 34 alone and responsible for 9 children. My oldest sister was 15 at the time and the baby was 2 years old.
In trying to deal with the grief at the time, my Mom didn’t always make the best decisions; it caused different dysfunctions in the home.
At age 18, I got pregnant and before I knew it, I’d married my high school sweetheart.
We’d been together for 3 years.
I BECAME A MOM AT AGE 19 & MY WHOLE WORLD CHANGED
I had some pretty fast growing up to do: life was not just about me anymore. It was about this beautiful baby boy I held in my arms. I quickly took on my responsibilities as a wife and mother and life moved on.
Eighteen months later, our 2nd child, my oldest daughter was born. For the next 8 years life was pretty normal.
WE BEGAN MARRIED LIFE WITH LITTLE CHANGE FOR MY HUSBAND
He continued playing hockey, ball, extra-curricular activities, anything to keep him busy. At the time, I didn’t realize how much of a deal-breaker this would become, as he had his needs met in those things, without any real need of me. We barely had conversation; he had those with other people during the day. He was very extroverted, often to a fault.
I’d always believed that if I tried to pin him down to more time at home, I’d be changing who he was; I didn’t want to do that. In retrospect, I let him get away with too much. He wasn’t held accountable for his time and it kept him from being present at home. I didn’t realize until too late that I enabled him to stay distant by saying nothing.